Better

Well, I just wanted to say a giant thank you to those who sent me the encouraging comments. I look forward everday to reading what people have written!! I know that I don't know you all personally - but I feel like I kind-of do. All of you are such a great support!!! It helps to talk (or write, in our case) to people who are going through or have been through the same emotions I have. I appreciate all of the personal things you write in your blogs! It makes it easier to open up and share my feelings!! So - keep writing!!

My husband works with a lady who is also adopting. Her country of choice is China. She has been waiting for her referral for a little over a year (sure puts my measly 2 1/2 month wait in perspective)! Well, yesterday was her day - she finally recieved her referral!!! She brought in her picture today for my husband to see. He called me and told me she was beautiful and it is finally feeling real to him! He said that now since he has seen the picture - it is going to be harder to wait for ours. It was refreshing to hear him say that. For so long this process has seemed like a business transaction to him, but now that we are getting closer I can see him growing more excited daily!! Now he is working up to my excitment level - almost! I can't imagine the level of joy we will both feel once we get our referral!!

Speaking of referrals - nothing yet for us. I am, however, keeping myself extremely busy this week. It is making the time go faster. I am still praying for a referral this week, but if it doesn't happen I am trying to stay positive (thanks Kelly for your Positive Polly entry - it gave me the swift kick I needed).

Again, I want to thank everyone again for their kind words! It certainly helps to hear them!!!

BLAH!!!

Today has been a hard day for me!! I have felt very "down in the dumps". I actually had a great weekend with my husband. We just did fun things this weekend. However, I feel as though something (actually someone) is missing. This is the first time that I have felt like a piece of our family was not here with us! The wait for our child is getting harder!!! I would like to be optomistic and say, "Well, at least it is one day closer to the referral" - but I just don't feel like it is. At this point, I am wondering if the phone is ever going to ring!!! I know that obviously it will - BUT WHEN???? It is getting harder to look people in the eye - because they are all waiting for "the news". I can't take it when they say, "Don't worry it will happen soon". How do they know!!!! I know I am ranting, but I have to get this out! I really don't know how much more of this I can take. I am praying that the Lord will give me the strength to overcome this feeling of crawling into bed and never getting out!

I pray that I will have good news to announce this week - even if it is just that I am feeling more positive about everything!

Happy Anniversary To Me!!!

Well, I can't believe it but my wonderful husband and I have been married 5 years today! I just love our anniversary - I feel as though I have been floating on cloud 9 all day. He took me out for lunch today, then took me to the Apple store to buy me an accessory for my IPod. Tonight we are going to the Country Club for dinner. We were going to go out of town to celebrate - but we are trying to save up for the trip to VN.

I did something else exciting today - I started my registry!! I stayed in Babies-R-Us for 2 hours and did not even come close to walking the entire store. While I was in there, I happened to run into my friend and she helped me register. It was sooooo much fun!!! I can't wait to go back and finish. I am going to try to space it out so that I will have something to look forward to everyday. Hopefully by the time I finish our referral will be here! I am trying my hardest to keep up with the positive thinking, but if our referral doesn't get here soon I think I might scream!!!!!

Well, until next time...

Getting Out Of The House

Well, tomorrow I am going on a day trip to visit a friend. It will be nice to leave the house. Now that I know we are next for a referral, I am afraid to go anywhere! I want to be here for "the call"! I did ,however, e-mail the person in charge of our dossier and gave her my cell number just in case she needed to give me any news. I highly doubt I will here from her - but better to be safe than sorry!

No News Today

I have nothing to report about the adoption today. I was hoping to get a call - but not today. Now that I know we are next in line for a referral - I am obsessed with the phone!! Every time it rings my heart skips a beat! it's funny - anytime I call anyone they are just as anxious for news as I am. when they hear it is me on the other end I can hear them breathe in and hold their breath until I say "no news".

My friends who are throwing me a baby shower picked out my invitations today. They are very cute!!! I am getting very giddy about all of this! I am looking forward to celebrating with my friends and family! I have been on the internet all day looking at items to register for. Since we don't have any children yet, I am definitely taking someone who has children with me to register. Otherwise I will end up with lots of things I won't need. Hopefully I will start my registry this weekend!!!! I can't believe it!

Well - it's a little something!

Today I received an e-mail from our agency stating that we were next to receive a referral!! This is good news! I e-mailed her back to ask if she thought I would have it by the time of my baby shower (July 16). She told me that she thought it would for sure be here by then. In fact, she thought that it would only be a short wait until we know the sex of our child!!! I feel as though I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. However, I am also trying to be guarded because I know that waiting for permission to travel will also be challenging!

So, I went to the baby store to start getting an idea for what to register for! It was so exciting! I must say that I caught myself giggling as I was looking around. It is still feels so bizzare for me to get excited about entering a baby store! I guess I will start my registry for the things that are gender neutral later on this week!!

It is going to be so nice to be able to move along with getting everything ready for our baby. We have been stuck not knowing how to decorate the room for long enough. I am ready to paint and get the crib put together so I can finally nest!!!

Thank you Lord for this wonderful news!!! Your timing is perfect!

AHA!

Have you ever had one of those moments that just make you say "AHA"? Well I had one just a few minutes ago!

You see, my friends who are throwing me a baby shower on July 15th are in the process of trying to get the invitations. They called me today to find out if they should just get generic invitations or gender specific ones. I have been sooo stressed out today for many reasons (waiting for the referral, trying to stick to my diet when I am depressed, etc) and this just added to it. I thought for sure that I would have the referral by now and would be able to tell them the sex of the baby. But, as I am quickly learning, adoption doesn't work that way! Then, thoughts started to go through my head such as, "what if I don't have the referral in time for the shower, what if I am not able to register for everything I need since I don't know the sex of the child or the age, etc."

So, tonight as I was laying in bed unable to sleep, I realized that I have taken control over this adoption and all the unknowns. I did not even think about God or His plans. I know His timing is perfect, but sometimes I feel that I just need to help Him with things. He knows exactly when this referral will come. He knows about the shower and the time frame (my mom is flying in for the shower and has already booked her ticket). Why do I need to carry this load when He already knows?

When I look back at the steps of our adoption, from the beginning until this point, I see his hand all over it. He lead us to the perfect agency for us and has placed people from the agency in our lives that fit with us perfectly. We haven't had any snafoos with the paperwork or the process up to this point. He has been in control of this adoption since the beginning - why would I think that I had to take control at this point?

It is so great to be able to give Him the burden and be filled with the peace that comes from giving it to Him. I trust that He is going to work it out for His glory. AHA!!!

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about what happens to you.
1 Peter 5:7

No - nothing yet

Well, we have not received any news about our referral yet. The agency has had our dossier for 8 weeks today. I am expecting the referral any day. The agency told us that the time frame for a referral was 2 - 3 months. However, they told us that since we entered the program early - they estimated our wait at 2 months. So - you can see why I am on pins and needles waiting for "the call". I can't wait to move ahead with our plans for the room. This constant state of waiting is mentally exhausting! My friends who have had biological children say that they understand what I am going through - they say it's like waiting to go into labor. While I appreciate them trying to empathize, I am not sure it is the same. Once we get the referral, I will not be able to hold or kiss my son or daughter. I will have to wait months before that will be possible.

Well, maybe tomorrow I will have some news. I just need to keep the faith and remember that God's timing is PERFECT!

One day closer - hopefully

Well, today we went to a church-wide fellowship to have "dinner on the grounds". It was fun - except for the endless questions about when we are going to get our referral. I know that it is my fault for telling people about the adoption before the referral. My husband did not want to tell anyone until we got a referral for this very reason. I know people are interested - but it is hard to talk about it constantly.

The good news is that tomorrow is Sunday. It is one day closer to starting a new week - and maybe hearing the good news of a referral!! I am praying that it comes this week! I know we said that we will take either gender, but I am secretly hoping for a girl! However, if we get a boy - I in no way will be dissapointed!!

Waiting for our referral

Hi! I am new to this whole "blogspot" thing - so bear with me!

My husband and I are in the process of adopting our first child. We prayed about where to adopt from and felt like the Lord led us to Vietnam. The so-called "short wait times" were a plus for us!!

We started this journey in late October of 2005 with our first homestudy visit. Once our visit was over we were overwhelmed with how much we had to do!! But, how do you eat an elephant? - one bite at a time. So that is what we did! We completed ALL of the paperwork, certification, and authentication by April 2006. We sent our paperwork into our agency on
April 14, which happened to be Good Friday (which it was!!).

We have yet to get a referral - but our agency told us it would be 2 - 3 months before we heard anything. The great news is that the 5 families that turned in paperwork before us all have their referrals - they only had to wait 2 months!!

We know that God is in control of this adoption and His timing is perfect. However, the waiting has been the hardest part of all!! It has helped me so much to look other sites and to see that I am not the only one having these same feelings! One person said that the refferal was the first thing she thought about in the morning and the last thing she thought about at night - I couldn't have said it better myself!

We expect the call to come any day! I can't wait to register and set the room up! With everything we have gone through to get to this point - it is a HUGE blessing to be able to have the opportunity to experience the joy of preparing for "parenthood"!