Our Adoption Journey - Vietnam

6 Months Ago Today...

2007-05-24T23:34:00.000-05:00

Six months ago today my husband and close friends welcomed Ian and I home from the longest, most excrutiating time in VN (for those who don't know, we set out for VN to adopt another child, but after spending 1 month with him we gave him back to his birthmother - then we were blessed with Ian!!!). I still get emotional thinking about seeing David again after being separated under such difficult times! It was such an incredible feeling to be able to introduce Ian to many of the people who prayed so hard with us that we would be able to bring him home!!

I can't believe that we have had him for only 6 months!!! I can't remember our lives without him!!! He has changed and developed so much over these past six months! Since we have had him he has learned how to crawl, and just began walking 2 weeks ago. He now has 6 teeth and is trying to push 2 more through! We have stopped giving him formula and have started giving him whole milk using a sippie cup. He has discovered how to say "uh-oh" and waves bye. Everday his personality shines through even more than the day before! He is still happy most of the time - but lets us know very quickly if he is upset about something!!!! We absolutely love him more than we ever thought possible, and are still falling more in love with him everyday!!!

However, today I have been thinking about our time in VN when we first met him. We were still trying to disassociate ourselves from the other child that we fell in love with when we first saw his referral picture - and trying to allow ourselves to fall in love with this new child that God had so graciously blessed us with! I will never forget seeing Ian for the first time... the nanny place him in my arms and he smiled at me and immediately and patted my arm!! I think that it was that moment that I knew that he was my child. My husband kept warning me not to get too attached until we knew he would be ours for sure - but I knew at that moment it was going to happen and he had been waiting for us!!!! I read stories before we traveled about people who become instantly attached when meeting their child and I was praying that it would be the same for me, but it didn't happen when I held our original child. I didn't let on that I felt that way because I was ashamed of it, little did I know what would happen down the road. When I held Ian, I knew he was ours! Everything we went through led us to Ian, though I would never want to relive having to give Brenden back after being with him for a little over 1 month and then David leaving to go back to work 2 days later. I am so incredibly thankful for the journey to Ian because it makes me cherish him even more!

I have not shared any pics of us in VN with Ian, but I felt that today I should share some special pictures of us with Ian in VN - and some special family pics!

The first time we met Ian!

Ian and I at the G&R with the orphanage director

Our first family photo taken at the airport after we got off the plane.

Ian's announcement

Our first formal family photo.

Charlie - Ian's best friend!

2007-04-13T23:58:00.000-05:00

This is when Ian first met Charlie - he was not too fond of him!

Charlie is trying to get Ian to play with him - We had Ian for about 1 month when this picture was taken.

Now you can see they are best of friends!!!

Ian has become OBSESSED with our 130 lb. yellow lab - Charlie. Ian used to let me rock and snuggle with him in the mornings and after naps. Now - he fusses until Charlie comes in the room with us,or I take him out into the den to see Charlie! Once he sees him, he lets out a HUGE squeal! He follows him around all day! The other day, Charlie was trying to find a place to "hide" his bone and Ian kept following Charlie around - finally Charlie looked at me with a look like he was trying to say "mom, can you please help me out here". Ian constantly is laying his head on Charlie's belly while he is laying down, and uses him as a "slide" - crawling up one side of him and sliding down the other. Ian has recently been trying to "feed" Charlie all of his toys and dies laughing when Charlie puts them in his mouth.

It is a good thing that Charlie is so good-natured! I think most dogs would have gotten annoyed by now, but good ole Charlie just lays there and licks Ian - when Ian is sitting still enough to let him. My husband and I enjoy watching them play together!! I think we are in for a lifetime of dogs in our household - and we couldn't be any happier with that!

Easter

2007-04-08T22:38:00.000-05:00

Happy Easter everyone!

I hope that everyone has had a great Easter!!!! We have had a GREAT time this Easter (despite the cold weather) celebrating with Ian!! it is true that children change EVERYTHING - for the better! Today my husband and I were sitting at the same restaurant that we went to last year talking about how different things are this year! This time last year we had just sent off our completed dossier to our agency to send to VN! Boy, what a difference a year makes!! Thank you Lord for this blessing you have given us!!!

Here are some pictures that we took of Ian today at the Easter Egg Hunt the restaurant had (I have finally figured out how to put pics of my post!!!)

Life is Amazing!

2007-03-15T11:39:00.000-05:00

Yes, it makes me nervous to say this - because usually there is a storm around the bend! However, I must say that life at our house is pretty dog-gone good!!!

I absolutely ADORE being a mom! It can get pretty hairy at times - but I truly believe that this is my calling in life! I have never felt more fufilled!

Ian is doing well - but he is sick right now! I started back to work 2 weeks ago, part-time. I guess I have the best the of both worlds because his daycare is in the building I work in and I can check on him at anytime. I miss him when he is there, butI think it will be good for him to be with other children. Now we are just dealing with being sick every few days until he builds up his resistance. We have a doctor's appt. today - so hopefully they can give him so medication!

Ian grows and progresses each day! He is pulling up on everything and scoots around as he holds on. If I try to hold his hands for him to walk - he can't figure out what to do with his feet. So - I think it will be a few weeks or so before he takes his first step. He is still only saying "dadadadada". But, believe me, I am in NO hurry for him to begin walking or talking. I am enjoying watching him crawl everywhere!

Ian is qucickly becoming a daddy's boy. I am not sure what to think about this. I am glad he is growing attached to David, but I miss him only wanting me! He still looks for me whenever anyone else is holfding him - but his eyes light up when they see my husband! I think Ian really enjoys playing trucks with David. I told David that I need a little girl to play princess with - there is just too much testosterone in this house!

I know this might sound crazy considereing everything we went through to get Ina, but I am ready to start again for a girl! David says we have to wait alittle bit and save some money up frst, but I am hoping to begin the process soon!

Anyway, I will stop rambling! I am sorry that I haven't written in so long - time just seems to escape me now! Congrats to everyone who has gotten referrals or travel approvals!

Birthday Pictures!

2007-02-09T22:19:00.000-05:00

Hi all!!

I finally have some pictures of Ian's 1st birthday to show. Sorry it has taken me soooo long to get these to you! I hope you enjoy them!!

By the way, Ian had his first surgery today! He did great! All the nurses at the hospital just oohed and aahed over how cute he is - of course his dad and I just ate that up!! He has been kind of out of it today due to the anesthesia - but we are hoping that tomorrow he will feel better. I am just glad it is over - of course - now we have to dress his wound, which is not fun! he should be feeling back to normal in a week or so!

Settling In

2007-02-02T11:28:00.000-05:00

Well, we are really starting to feel like a settled family now! Ian just loves David! In fact, when David walked in from work last night Ian let out a HUGE squeal. We just both died laughing! My husband had a bad day at work and I told him that Ian's reaction to him should make him feel SOOOO much better!

I have FINALLY gotten Ian on a nap schedule. He is sleeping for 45 minutes in the late morning and 2 hours in the afternoon. It is great for him because he is back to the well rested, sweet boy that I had in VN. And, it is great for me because I actually have enough energy to stay up and spend some time with my husband after he goes to bed!

Ian is eating GREAT!! I will be interested to see how much he has gained when he goes back to the doctor for his 2nd set of shots. I made an appt. yesterday with a dietician to make sure that everything is ok with Ian - but I can't get in until the end of March!! I guess I will just wing it unitl then!

Being a mother is the best job in the world. For a while I thought that I would not get that chance - which makes my time with Ian even more special! God chose just the right child for us! I look at him in amazement sometimes because I can't believe that he doesn't have our DNA running through him. He is soooo much like David and I - it is really amzing!!!!! God is GREAT!

By the way, here are some pictures from his dedication at church on Sunday. It was very emotional for me - but Ian just smiled and kicked his legs the whole time. He kept everyone in stitches.

| View Show | Create Your Own

Finally - Pictures of Ian

2007-01-28T15:52:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone!
I am sorry that I have been so slow in getting pictures of Ian to you. I am still trying to figure out how to add pictures to the blog - but I think I have figured it out! Next, we will work on video!
Ian is changing soooo much everyday that I wanted to get some pictures on here before he changes even more! I hope you enjoy them. They are from the day we got home until now. You might be able to see how much he has grown in just 1 month! ENJOY!

Ian's Nursery Pictures

2007-01-26T23:16:00.000-05:00

I have finally gotten around to posting Ian's nursery pictures and I think I have figured out how to get the pictures to show on the post. His room is almost complete - we are waiting on some black and white photos of us with Ian to hang on the wall where his crib is. I hope you enjoy.

| View Show | Create Your Own

Happy Birthday Ian!

2007-01-14T14:37:00.000-05:00

Well, Ian turned 1 yesterday!!! It is so weird to be home with your child for less than 3 weeks and have his first birthday! We had a few friends over with their children yesterday afternoon for cake and ice cream to celebrate his birthday. He was teething badly - so he was not a very happy camper! I think he enjoyed seeing the other children running around however! While we were singing to him I started to get a little emotional!! It is all so surreal to me! I am sad for the amount of time I missed with him. he did NOt enjoy his cake. He stuck his hand in it and then started to fuss. At that point he rubbed his eyes and got icing in them. He really didn't like it then!! I had to give him a bath right away - I don't enjoy messes either!

Ian is adjusting pretty well. He is VERY attached to me. If I am out of his sight for even a second he starts to cry! I am having a very hard time getting anything done around the house because I am sitting with him all day. When he does nap - I am running around trying to get everything done. By the time he goes to bed, I am almost asleep myself! I am sure that his attachment to me is normal - seeing how it was just him and me in VN since my husband had to come to home before I got to bring him to the hotel for good. However, it is starting to wear me down! I am hoping that he begins to feel more secure in his new surroundings soon. Of course, by that time I will have to go back to work (only part-time though).

Ian went to the doctor last week for a check-up and his shots. The doctor is great!!! He told me that he has a good number of internationally adopted patients and that he has done much work abroad in different cultures. He was very thorough with Ian. He took about 6 viles of blood from him so that he could do the standard tests and see what his levels of protein, iron, etc. looked like. Everything came back great!!! He wants Ian to see a dietician and a developmentalist to make sure that he is on track. So, I guess I will be making those appts. soon! Everyone at the doctor's office made such a fuss over Ian! That made me feel so good!!

I will post Ian's birthaday pics as soon as I can!!

Sorry it has been so long!

2007-01-03T13:19:00.000-05:00

Hello all!!!

I am sorry I have not written in so long! Once I got Ian, I was unable to check e-mail or update my blog!

We are finally home!!! We had our G&R Ceremony on Monday, December 18th and left for Hanoi on the 20th of December! We were able to get through very fast and left for home on December 23rd! After 30 hours of flying, we arrived home in Jacksonville, Fl on Christmas Eve at 1:00! Ian did great by the way - thanks to a little Benadryl!! I don't think I have ever been so happy to see the smiling face of my husband!!! Ian is totally in love with him - so the transition has been easier since he will go to him as well as me! By the way - my husband picked us up from the airport in my Christmas gift - a new van!!! Now I am really a mom!!!!

Both of our families came in town over Christmas and just left yesterday! You can imagine how crazy our house has been! Right now, Ian is taking his nap and I am trying to clean up the house. Ian has done well with the time change! I think his body is starting to get adjusted! We are taking Ian to the doctor on Friday. I can't wait to see what his measurements are! He has been eating so much food lately that I am sure he has gained weight!

After everything that we have been through, I have never been so happy to see my house, family, and friends again!!! There were times that I thought I would never be able to get back here!!! We took Ian to church on Sunday and most everyone started to cry! It is amazing to see how much he has touched peoples' lives because they have been praying for him and our situation for so long! It was a great homecoming!!!

I am not great at posting pics, but I am going to try to post a picture of Ian that we took the day he came home. I think we are going to use it for our announcement photo! I hope you enjoy it!

OK! I tried, but I can't figure out how to get a picture on here!! I did what the help section told me to do - it tells me it is uploading, but it won't show up after it does that! if you know how to post a picture that is saved on my harddrive - please tell me how!!

I have a slide show set up - but I don't know how to get it to show on the blog - so click on the link and it will take you to it!

http://www.rockyou.com/show_my_gallery.php?instanceid=49531731

G&R Ceremony

2006-12-13T01:42:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone!

Well, I am getting excited! My faciltator is here in VN. We went and applied for the G&R Ceremony today!! They gave me a date of 2 weeks out!! I almost passed out - but my facilitator told them that I had already been her for 6 weeks and my husband had gone home. They looked at me and I tried to look very pitiful. The they changed it to Friday!! So now we have to make sure the orphanage director can do it on Friday, we should know for sure tomorrow. I am really trying not to get impatient. I am sooo ready to go home - but the most important thing is making sure that the baby goes home with me!

My husband and I decided to change the baby's name from Brenden. Everytime we said that name, we just kept seeing our first child in our minds. So, we have decided on the name - Ian - which means God is gracious. It just seems fitting. Now we are in the process of changing the items in the room that had Brenden on them to Ian. I can't wait to post pictures of him. He is just soooo cute!

I will try to write again soon - hopefully by that time I will be an official mother - again!!!!!

Updates

2006-12-06T05:29:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone!

I haven't written in a while - I just wanted to give an update of what is going on here in Vietnam.

Paperwork update:
I took a copy of the baby's dossier over to CIS yesterday for them to preview to make sure that everything is ok with it. They told me it looked great! That means that it is safe for me to have a G&R Ceremony! The US will issue a Visa to our new child! Now we are waiting for the Ministry of Justice here in HCMC to finish with their paperwork and set a new G&R date! They told me that it would be one day next week! I am praying that it will be early in the week so that I will have a better chance of getting home before Christmas.

Baby update:
I am visiting the baby everday in the orphanage. He is doing great!!! He is beginning to know who I am. I spend most of my time there just holding him close to me. I think this is helping us bond with each other! That is by far the best part of my day! Today I saw some families from another agency there picking up their children. It sent a pang through my heart because I want to bring my child home too. However, until we have a G&R Ceremony - that won't happen.

Personal update:
Things are good here in VN. I can honestly say that when my husband left me here alone I wasn't sure that I had strength enough to get through this alone! However, I know that I am not alone. My heavenly Father has been and will be here with me through all of this. I am becoming more and more joyful daily. I am doing things on my own that are soooo not me. For instance, I eat my meals in restaurants alone, I am starting to explore the different stores in HCMC, I am learning how to bartar for items with the locals, I ride on the back of motor bikes, I have taken control of the paperwork for this adoption, and I am trying to talk to people that I don't know. For those of you who know me, you know that all of this is completely outside of my comfort zone! I know that I couldn't do all of this if the Lord wasn't giving me strength to not only endure this trial, but begin to enjoy it as well. I know that I will come out of this a MUCH stronger person than I was in the beginning of this. Of course, I still have concerns about trying to trust this process again, trying to be a single mom while here in HCMC, and flying home by myself with a child. But, I know that if the Lord has strengthened me so much this far - I know he will give me strength to endure the rest of it!

Again, I want to thank all of you for your very encouraging comments. Also, I want to thank those who are praying for me and my family during this time. A few months ago the Lord showed me the verses Proverbs 3: 5-6 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not lean on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do and he will show you which path to take. I thought at the time He was showing me this about waiting on travel approval. Now I see that He was preparing me with those verses for this trial. Believe me, I have been repeating those verses in my heart constantly since my husband left!!!

I will write again when I have good news about the G&R Ceremony. I am trusting that it will be soon!

NOID - not exactly

2006-12-01T07:33:00.000-05:00

So, I have been wondering how I was going to let everyone know what has been going on in adoption land the past couple of weeks. So I will do my best to explain everything...

In a nut shell - we were given a NOID because the mother came back and said she wanted the child. We found out that he was born with "water on his brain" (which we did not know about, but the birthmother did). That is why she abandoned him because she knew she couldn't afford to help him. However, she was told by CIS that he was healthy, so she said she wanted him back. Much to CIS surprise, and ours as well, a new medical report surfaced from the Ministry of Justice that said he did have water on his brain and was "retarded". By this time the mother didn't care - she just wanted her son back, so we ask our that our Giving and Receiving be overturned so that he could be returned to his birthmother.

The orphanage was very sorry for all of this and told us they had another little boy who was paper-ready and was just waiting to be matched up with a family. We were asked by our agency if we were interested in pursuing another adoption. We prayed about it and decided that this is what we were supposed to do - so we agreed. They told us that since we were in country, and our last adoption was so messed up that the Ministry of Justice and the CIS would do everything in their power to see that we got throught this process in another 2-3 weeks.

So, my husband left a few days ago to go back to the states so that he doesn't lose his job (he has already been off for 1 month). I am out here in HCMC alone waiting for all the paperwork to clear so that we can proceed with this new adoption. I get to visit the new child everyday for 2 hours. He is very cute. He was born on Jan. 13, 2006 - so he is 10 months old. He seems like a very happy baby - but it is hard to tell in the orphanage. I am ready to have the G&R so that I can bring him back to the hotel with me.

What a whirlwind of events!!! Giving back our child and staying here alone waiting on a new one has been the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I am constantly praying that God will continue to show grace and mercy on my husband, our child, and me while in this process. We never thought that we would have to deal with the biological mother in an international adoption, but we were forced to. CIS told us that this is the first time this has ever happened. We have made friends with the CIS and they have told us they will help me every step of the way - they even want to come to the Giving and Receiving!!!

Please pray that God will help to speed things up here. I want to be home for Christmas. I can't imagine being here over that special holiday! The Dillon International families have been staying at the same hotel that I am in and have been absolutely wonderful to me!! They are leaving tomorrow to go to Hanoi - I am very happy for them, but I will miss them very much. I hear the new Dillon families will be staying here as well - I am looking forward to meeting them and sharing in their joy as they bring their new children home with them! Hopefully we will be traveling to Hanoi together!!!

Thank you for all who have been praying for us over this most trying time! Please continue to pray! I will write again soon!! Hopefully I will have good news!

Quick Update

2006-11-18T22:16:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone!!!

Sorry for the delay in writing! We are still in HCMC waiting on approval from the CIS. There was a glitch in the baby's paperwork. The orphanage has been fixing it over the weekend. We should have approval on Monday (God willing). If the approval comes through on Monday we will fly to Hanoi on Tuesday for our final interview. We are hoping to come home next weekend. We will miss Thanksgiving - but really - we hold our "Thanksgiving" every day!! We are growing tired of HCMC and are ready to come home - but we are trying to make the best out of our situation.

Thanks to all who have been praying for us!!!

I will write again once we hear from the CIS!

It's Official

2006-11-13T02:19:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone!!!

Sorry about my last post! I was having a pity party!!!!

Yesterday we had a fabulous day! Our facilitator took us out to the Mekong Delta. It was absolutely incredible. If you are coming to Ho Chi Minh City you have to make time to see the Mekong delta!! I was worried about how Brenden would do since he has not been feeling very well, but he did great! It is very shaded throughout the Delta - so he didn't get very hot. If you go to the Delta - don't eat before you go because you stop for food the whole time - I must recomend the coconut candy!!! I am not a fan of coconut - but the candy is great!!! We took lots of photos and recorded about an hour of the trip - so guess what family?? You get to sit through some very exciting home movies!!!

Brenden slept great last night - 11 hours!!! He seems to be feeling better today - however the bumps on his face are not getting any better - so we are going to take him to the American Hospital today so they can look at them. I don't want it to scar his face.

So today we finally got the call to go to the Justice for the Giving and Receiving Ceremony!!!! I still wasn't sure the orphanage director was going to show up - but she eventually did. I was so thrilled to see her. We waited a few minutes and then they called us back for the Ceremony. Brenden had just woken up from a short nap - so he was in a great mood! He just laughed and giggled through the whole thing!! We took video of that too!

What a relief to have that done!! Now we wait on the passport and our first CIS interview. We still have plans to go to Hanoi on the 2oth - so lets hope it all gets done by then!

Thank you to all those who have been praying for us during this time - we are feeling MUCH better!!!!

Still Not Ours Yet

2006-11-11T04:43:00.001-05:00

Well, We have been here almost 2 weeks and we have not had the Giving and Receiving Ceremony yet. We were supposed to have it last Thursday, but the orphanage director was in a meeting and could not make it. Then we were supposed to have it Friday at 10:00 AM - but again the orphanage director had meetings. So - we moved it to 4:00, agian - meetings!!! So we have spent the last 2 days sitting in our hotel room dressed and ready to go! Needless to say - we are beyond frustrated!!!! We hope that this won't put us back from going to Hanoi on Nov. 20th.

Brenden is fighting a chest cold and is teething badly! We have been in the room today hoping this will help him feel better. For the past 2 days - he has only wanted me to hold him. If I put him down he screams. It has been pretty rough! I am going stir crazy in this room!! I am hoping he feels better tomorrow. Sitting in our room has really gotten to my husband and me! We are hoping to get out at least for a little while tomorrow!

We are hoping to go the Mekong Delta tomorrow - but we will see. I would hate to leave here and not really be able to see all the wonderful sights. With everything that has gone on here (some things I should not mention) I am not sure if we will adopt from here again. We might choose another country next time.

I know I might sound a little jaded right now, but I don't want that to take away from the overwhelming joy we feel for our son!! We love him soooo much - we are just ready to take him home! I am still hoping that we will make our original flight on Novemmber 28th - but I don't know!

Hopefully we have our G&R ceremony on Monday. If we do I will try to find time to post to let you know!!!

By the way, we are still working on the pictures!!!

I think I can write now!

2006-11-05T21:06:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone!!!

Sorry for the shortness of the last post. It has been crazy the past couple of days!!

let me start from the begining - We arrived here at 12:30 AM Thursday morning (VN time). The flight was grueling!!!! We flew Korean Airlines - it was very nice!!! The flight attentdants were extremely catering!!!

The next morning we went to breakfast and met the other couple who were from our agency and our facilitator. We then went to apply for our Giving and Receiving ceremony. If you adopt a child in HCMC you have to apply for the G&R ceremony in person. We will not have our ceremony until next Thursday - Nov. 9th. Then we went to the orphanage to visit our children. Brenden was having his diaper changed. When we finally saw him we were overwhelmed! However, our facilitator told us that if possible we shouldn't cry because the Vietnamese don't show emotion and the nannies would be watching us to see if they wanted to give him to us now before the G&R Ceremony. Brenden was not pleased to see me! I think I scared him because I was so exited!! However, he loved my husband (of course) and went right to him. David held him the whole time and he just stared at us. A few minutes later the nannies took him and we thought that our time with him was over for the day - but they changed him and gave him to us to take home!!! We were excited, but shocked! We had just gotten to VN a little over 12 hours ago!!! When we took him back to the hotel he took a nap. I am sure he was completely overwhelmed - I know we were!!

After he woke up - I gave him a bath and then changed his clothes. He just laid on the bed for quite a while and looked around! His orphanage had an outbreak of scabies last month and he is still suffering from them. I brought some scabies ointment with me and I rubbed it all over him. I am hoping that it will help his itching! He looks so pitiful! We just tried to get used to each other the first day.

The next day (Friday), we took him to get his passport pictures made and have his medical exam. They told us he was 24 inches long and 16 pounds. he is very little for an 11 month old. We were told he was malnurished in the orphange - so we are hoping he will gain a good amount here. He has been eating like a pig! I am feeding him all the time. He is finally starting to show some personality and laugh. Our facilitator told us that becuase he stayed in the orphanage for 11 months and did not get enough attention - his personality has not had a chance to develop. We are constantly playing with him to stimulate his mind. He is soooo cute!! We just stare at him in amazement!!! We can not believe that God has given him to us!!!! he is perfect!!

Yesterday we went and did some sightseeing. We went to the Post Office, Notre Dome and the Palace. It was fun - but different with a child. I was so busy making sure he was ok that I really didn't enjoy it. I am sure that I will get used to having a child with me - but it will take some time.

This morning we met our faciltator for breakfast and she showed me how to introduce solids to Brenden. He seemed to really like papaya! She said that she thought he felt heavier than he did a few days ago. I sure hope he can gain at least 5 pounds will we are here.

She did have some bad news for us regarding Hanoi. The APEC confernce has caused the US Embassy to close down the week of November 15-20. We are expected to get into Hanoi on the 15th. And, she is not sure about getting us rooms at the Guoman - which is where we were supposed to stay because they could all be booked. Therefore, I am not sure where we will be staying - scary!!! She told us not to panick - but it looks at though we will be here every bit of 4 weeks if not more. While we are enjoying being in our son's birth country - we are ready to come home to ours!!! We miss everyone very much.

I hope I will be able to post pictures of him while out here. The internet connection we have in the room is very slow - so my husband isn't sur eif the pictures will download or not. Hopefully we will have time to do this soon!!

We are finally not feeling so jet lagged. We were hoping to get over that before we brought Brenden with us back to the hotel. We ahve been fighting to stay awake with him. reat news - he is a great sleeper! So at night we are abel to get some sleep. Just today we are starting to feel better! The food here at the hotel is good. Since we have gotten here we have just been eating breakfast and snacking for dinner. We are not ready to bring him out to dinner yet. We need a little more time to learn his schedule.

I will try to start posting everyday. Thank you to those who have been leaving comments. It helps to hear friendly words from home.

We are here and we have him!!

2006-11-02T18:16:00.000-05:00

HO, HO, HO Merry Christmas???

2006-10-28T22:39:00.005-05:00

So - should you decide to stop by our house you would think we were absolutely NUTS! I spent the day putting up Christmas at our house!! The mantle is decorated, the tree is up, the dining room table is set, and the house is festive!!!! I played Christmas music to help get me in the mood. Our friend came over to help - and she and I laughed as we were putting everything up! We are ready just in case it does take us a full month in VN. I can't wait to see Brenden's face when he sees everything!!

Tomorrow we are finishing up cleaning the house and we are starting to pack! I hope we can get done so that we can have Monday to go and see friends before we leave. I can't imagine being away from everyone for a whole month - however, it is TOTALLY worth it!!

I can't believe we are almost ready! I feel as though we have been running around so much since we found out about travel. It is nice to be almost done!!

Holy Cow - it is already Friday!!!!!

2006-10-27T13:38:00.000-05:00

OK - so now I am officially freaking out!!!!!! I am an emotional wreck!! I laid in bed and cried last night because we are about to embark on parenthood. I feel so blessed!!! We have been trying for kids for so long - that now the reality is sinking in!! I put Brenden's carseat in the car today and cried the whole time!! What is wrong with me???

I have been running errands for the past 3 days - finally all the errands are finished! Now it is time to clean the house and put up Christmas decorations ~ yes you heard correctly! We are not scheduled to come home until November 29th - and I can guarantee you that I won't feel like putting up Christmas then. So - I will be playing Christmas music this weekend to help me get in the mood to put up the tree and all the other Christmas items! We will begin packing on Sunday and do last minute things on Monday. Then it is time to get on the airplane!!!

I am so nervous (excited nervous). I am not sleeping very well - I am sure it is just anxiety! I can't believe that in less than a week we will be holding Brenden! We have stared at his pictures for so long - soon it will be a reality!!!

I will be posting while I am gone. I am going to try to post regularly - but we will see. Also, I am going to try to post pictures of Brenden - but I am not very good at computer stuff - so all I can promise is to try!

Thank you for all your prayers. Please continue to pray for God's blessing upon our trip and our child. I pray we get home quicker than expected (but we are not holdong our breath).

Time to clean...

IT'S OFFICIAL!!!!!

2006-10-20T15:10:00.000-05:00

So - we got the official call this morning at 10:30!!!!! WE ARE GOING TO VIETNAM!!!

They did move our travel dates by a few days. We have to be in Vietnam on Wednesday, November 1 and we are scheduled to leave on November 29th. We are leaving here on October 31st! Happy Halloween!!!!!!

We are traveling with one other person. The great news is that he and I found each other on the internet early this past summer. We have been corresponding about our adoptions ever since. Also, his son is from the same orphange as ours! We are so glad to be traveling with someone else that we feel we already know!!!

My husband and I, and another couple who we are close to are going out to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse tonight to celebrate!!!! We will start preparations for travel tomorrow - tonight we celebrate!!!!!!!!!

TENTATIVE TRAVEL!!!!!!!

2006-10-19T08:43:00.000-05:00

We received an e-mail from our agency last night with tentative travel dates!!!! They hope to have something concrete by Friday! They told us to get to HCMC on October 29th and leave Hanoi on November 24th. Yes that is right - November 24th. I guess we will get held up by the APEC conference. They hope we won't have to stay the entire 4 weeks - but they can't promise anything. We are currently talking with a travel agent so that we can put our tickets on hold until we get confirmation from our agency!

Now we start preparing like crazy!! I think I will be doing this by myself mostly because my husband is going to have to put in more hours in order to be gone for an entire month. He can do alot from VN with his laptop - but the more he can get done now, the more time he will have to spend with us in VN and not his laptop. I have to wrap up a few projects at work as well, but hopefully I will be done by mid-next week so that I can focus on the house before we go. My friend is staying here while we are gone to take care of our dog, Charlie (130lb yellow lab). I want the house spotless before she lives here for a month.

If the travel arrangements stay as they are now, we will be bringing Brenden home a few days before his 1st birthday!! I guess we will have a welcome home/1st birthday combined party. I can't think of anything better!!!!

Last night on my way to dinner I had a heart to heart talk with God. I started to tell Him about how angry I was inside because nothing in this adoption process has gone the way I had hoped.
It is taking much longer than we were told it would, along with other things that were promised that were proven untrue. As I was letting it all out, I just started repeating this verse over and over -
"Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your way acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight."
As I was repeating it, "lean not on your own understanding" kept jumping out at me and I realized that was exactly what I was doing!! I have to keep remembering that I don't have to understand why things have gone differently than promised - I just have to remember and trust that God IS in control of this not me. It is not my understanding - but His!! When I got home from dinner with my husband I got the e-mail about travel. GOD IS GOOD!!!

Well I am off to the store to start purchasing supplies!!!!

Well... I'm Still Here!!!!

2006-10-17T16:30:00.000-05:00

Well, I haven't gotten "the call" yet! This was a VERY long weekend! I am glad the week has started! I e-mailed the agency and they are still "hopeful" that they will here something this week about our travel. It is funny how "a strong likelihood" of travel has now turned into "hopeful"! I am really trying not to be too negative - but I am really getting angry. I am ready to be finished with all of this! The fact that my son will be 11 months old on the 28th doesn't make it any better!!

We got a Travel Guide from our agency that gave us guidelines for travel. One thing I found interesting was that they told us not to go out in public in shorts. They said that it wasn't socially acceptable. That is pretty much all I was planning on taking, expect for a few nice outfits for the Giving and Receiving and the interviews. Guess I will be going to the mall this weekend! Also, they told us not to bring the Playtex Drop-In bottle system. I had heard just the opposite - so that is all I registered for!!! I e-mailed the agency and they told me that the babies are not using those particular nipples - so they might not adjust to them. I was told to wait until I get there to buy the bottles and nipples because they would be cheaper. I guess that is what I will do. After reading the guidelines and learning in detail all the official stuff we will do there, I am getting very nervous. All I have thought about is getting my child - not all the other things we have to do before we come home!

Well, hopefully I will hear something this week - otherwise it is going to be another LONG weekend!!!

Good News (but not the official word)

2006-10-07T00:00:00.000-05:00

So - I did not think I would post so soon!

We got a letter from our agency on Tuesday giving us an update (2 ladies from our agency went to VN a few weeks ago to visit the orphanages and to meet with Dr. Long at the DIA and be present for a meeting with the US Embassy). We found out that we needed to update a few of the items in our dossier because they are close to being past the 1 year mark. When I e-mailed our country facilitator about the items, I asked her if she thought we might be traveling this month. She told me that there is a "strong likelihood" that we would travel either the 3rd or 4th week of this month!!!! However, the official word has not come in yet. She is expecting to know more at the end of next week! We will only get a 1 week notice when the official word comes in. I am trying not to get my hopes up until I here something for sure - but I think it sounds like a great sign!! At least she didn't say "soon"!!!!

I am praying that if we are in VN while the APEC conference is being held that it won't delay us too long. However, the most important thing to me is that we are with Brenden. I have to remember that God is in control of this and that He knows what is going to happen. If we are delayed - He knew that we would be and will make a way for us.

I went to Babies-R-Us today with all the gift cards people have given to us. I had already picked out a car seat (Britax Roundabout), but when I got to the store I wasn't very impressed with it. The sales associates at the Babies-R-Us near us are not usually very helpful - but today was the exception. As I was trying to make up my mind, one of the associates asked if I needed help. I proceeded to tell her all about Brenden and that I wasn't sure which seat would be the best. She spent 1 1/2 hours with me trying to pick out just the perfect seat!! I finally decided on a new Graco seat (Safeseat Step 2). She told me it was the only seat that reclined while installed in the car. It got 4 out of 5 stars on the Babies web site. I will try it and see what Brenden thinks of it. While I was there, I printed out my registry and purchased some of the items I did not get at my showers. I came home with 6 giant bags full to the rim and a car seat! I had such a great time!!!!!!! Tomorrow I will go through everything and wash it all! I feel the need to get everything ready so that when we do get the call I won't feel so overwhelmed (hopefully)!!

I will write again when I hear something concrete! I am hoping that it will be soon!!!!!

October!!!!!

2006-10-02T08:04:00.000-05:00

Well, October is finally here!!! I feel as though I write this same entry every month - just change the month!!! However, this has got to be our month!!!! We got our referral 2 months ago yesterday and they told us 2-3 months wait for our travel approval.

I am growing more and more impatient with each passing day! Ever since we got the new pictures of Brenden and I have seen how much he has changed, I can't stop thinking about going to get him!!! I am starting to get that panicked feeling that I had waiting for our referral (3 1/2 month wait). He just turned 10 months old last week - if I am not there with him for his 11 month I might scream!!!! He is an older child than we requested - so I think I might be panicked a little over this. I am upset that I have missed soooo much time with him already - I just want our agency to get us over there!!! I do know, however, that it is completely our of their hands. I am just praying that whoever has our paperwork in their hands will hurry up an approve it!!!

We have had our Visas for a while now - I hope that means that the call will come soon!!!! The ache for my child grows stronger with each passing day! I know that Gods is and has been in control of this entire process - so I must remember to put my trust in Him only!

Hopefully the next time I post I will have some good news to share!

I'm Back!

2006-09-25T21:04:00.000-05:00

Sorry I haven't posted in a while! I have been so busy with work!
I just got back in town from visiting my parents in Atlanta. While I was there, my friends threw me a baby shower. It was great!! I enjoyed seeing everyone I haven't seen in sooo long! Also, Brenden got lots of fun toys and cute clothes! I will post some pictures soon!!!

We just got some new photos of Brenden today!! If you would like to see them they are on his website at www.babybrenden.homestead.com You will be amazed at how much he has changed from his referral picture!!! I could not even tell it was him. I got upset and started to cry thinking that they took pictures of the wrong child. I could on ly tell it was him by looking at his nose!

Seeing his new pictures makes me realize just how much time I have missed with him! I asked my agency when they thought we would travel since they told us to go ahead and get our Visa. They said they were not sure, but they hoped it would be soon!!! I just don't like that word - I was hoping to hear something more concrete than that!!!! Waiting is becoming increasingly difficult as each day passes! I will be so happy once we are done with this process!!! Only, we are planning on adopting again next year!!!

Enjoy looking at his pictures! I will post again soon!!!

Vietnam Visa

2006-09-08T17:17:00.000-05:00

I got home from work today and saw that I had a message from our country coordinator about going ahead and applying for our Visas! She told us that we should apply for the 3-month Visa so that we don't have to put a specific travel date. She said that we should put a start date on the Visa for Sept. 15th. I almost passed out! I e-mailed her back to find out exactly when we would be travleing. She told us that she didn't have a date yet, but that when she knew something we will get 1 weeks notice to book tickets and get out there! She said that the Visa will take 1 week to process - so she just wants us to be prepared for when the call does come. I must say that I was kind of dissapointed when I read that she doesn't have a travel time for us. My mom thinks that we are probably close since she wants us to go ahead and get our Visa. My thought is that maybe we have been approved at the government level and it is now time for the province (Ho Chi Minh City) to set up a G & R date??? I am trying not to get my hopes up - that is what I did with the referral and I was let down with the long wait.

So - What do you think??? Do you think this is a good sign that they want us to go ahead and get the Visa, mind you, it is a 3 month Visa? If you have already, or are waiting to travel, when did you get your Visa? Did you get a 3-month Visa?

Thanks for your imput! My mind is going crazy right now!

Goodbye August - HELLO SEPTEMBER

2006-09-04T19:53:00.000-05:00

I have never been more ready for a new month to begin!!!! August was great, but I am anxiously counting down the months until we are told it is our turn to get Brenden!! We still have not heard anything from the agency, but it has only been 1 month and 3 days since we got our referral (to be exact)! I am not expecting to hear anything this month either - so I have made sure that I am scheduled to the max every weekend. The faster time seems to go -the better!!!!

This weekend has been fun - we are trying to hang out with friends and do things we know we won't be able to do once we get Brenden. I must say, however, that no matter how much fun I am having I still feel a little empty inside. I miss my child even though I have yet to meet him! I can't wait for him to come home and meet everyone here who is anxiously waiting and praying for him!

I am starting to read up on the whole "attachment process". Seems very interesting and a little scary! I am not sure where to begin with it. Brenden tured 9 months old last week and will probably be 11 months or so when we get him. If you adopted a child around that age - how did you handle bonding? I know every child is different, but the fact that the director told our agency that he is one of the favorites makes me think he is getting lots of attention and already forming bonds.

I hope that everyone has a great week and that great news will abound!!!

I've Been Tagged

2006-08-28T16:57:00.000-05:00

I have been tagged by Chris at Mrs. Broccoli Guy to tell 5 interesting things about myself - so here it goes.

1. I am totally and completely obsessed with the TV show "Felicity". It comes on the WE channel everyday from 4:00 - 6:00. Even though I have seen every episode at least 10 times each - I will still watch it over and over. I try to make sure I am home by 4:00 everyday for it (oh, and it also comes on Saturday from 10:00 - 12:00). It reminds me of my college and career days.

2. I married my highschool sweetheart. We started dating when we were 16 - we got married at 27 (we had to make sure we were ready for the commitment).

3. I HATE rollercoasters! I am a big baby when it comes to amusement parks. I am the designated "stuff holder" while everyone else rides all the roller coasters.

4. I absolutely love and adore ice cream! It doesn't have to be real ice cream - I am fine with anything cold. Every night after dinner I usually have a low-fat ice cream sandwich called a "Skinny Cow". I can promise you that if you try one you will become addicted too.

5. I have a jewelry fettish. I love costume jewelry (and of course, the real thing too)!! I have jewery that matches almost every outfit in my closet. Before I buy a new outfit I think about what jewelry I have that will go with it. If I think it will be too hard to match - I usually won't buy the outfit!

Hum Drum

2006-08-23T15:54:00.000-05:00

So, I have nothing new to report! Life here is pretty "hum drum". Work is keeping me from thinking about Brenden all day long! I must say that I have been much calmer now that we have received our referral. At least I see the light at the end of the tunnel. However, I am purposely keeping my calendar booked every weekend for the month of August and September. Hopefully we will here something in October for a travel date (but I have learned from my refferal wait not to get my hopes up!).

I am busy trying to get his room ready. We got the bedding in and it looks great! I got his name stitched into the toddler quilt. It is so cute! I just got a call that our glider is in - so we will pick that up this weekend. Still no double dresser - they are trying to figure out where it is!!! Hopefully we get it soon - I haven't been able to put his things away. I will post pictures on his website when his room is finished.

A couple of my friends got me a "name bracelet" for my birthday. It just came in yesterday and it is adorable!! They got it from a website called www.girlytwirly.com If you are looking for a nice gift for a new mom - the name bracelet is great. My bracelet is called "the poppy".

My MIL is coming into town this weekend. Hopefully it won't be so hot that it drains all of our energy out of us if we go outside - gotta love Florida summers!!!

Sorry I don't have much to talk about - but I guess that is a good thing!! Congratulations to all who have received referrals this week!!!!

Hi ho, Hi Ho, It's Back To Work I Go...

2006-08-11T21:10:00.000-05:00

It has been a busy week!!! I started back to work on Monday and I haven't stopped!! The teachers come back this coming Monday and school starts to following Monday (August 21st). I am glad I am back at work. Summer was great - but now that we have our referral Iwant time to pass as quickly as possible until we get to travel to get him! I stay very busy at work - so I am hopeful that it will help to pass the time!!!! It has been great getting to show everyone the picture of Brenden! I get the same feelings all over again when I share the referral story with them. It is so much fun to watch them "ooh and ahh" over him!!

I have nothing new to report on the adoption front (not that I thought I would). We have requested Brenden's current weight, height, and head circumference (it was not in the medical report) but we haven't heard anything yet. I have tried not to buy too many clothes for him until we know how big he is. He looks big in the referral picture - but we were told that the babies just look bigger in the pictures because they get so close to them. However, in reality - they are usually pretty small. I guess we will just wait and see.

My friend finised Brenden's website and it is AMAZING!! Please stop by and take a look at it. Here is the address www.babybrenden.homestead.com I will be adding pictures of him (if we get anymore), pictures of the nursery, pictures from my baby shower, and other things soon! I am pretty sure that when we travel to VN, I will be journaling on that website - but we will see as time gets closer. However, I will not leave my blogger friends!!! I will continue to post here as well!!!!

I hope everyone has a great weekend!!! I am praying for great news next week, especially for Christina at Mrs. Broccoli Guy, and for all those waiting for a referral or travel permission!

Brenden's Picture

2006-08-04T23:13:00.000-05:00

I was going to wait until the website was finished to post Brenden's picture (for many reasons - but the main one is because I wasn't sure how to do it - but I finally figured it out). This picture was taken when he was 6 months old. He is 8 months now - we hope to get a recent picture of him before we go to get him. I am sure he has changed. I love everything about him - but I really love his hair! We will be going to my stylist as soon as we get him home!

I hope you enjoy looking at him. I can't seem to put the picture down. I have made so many copies - I think I have 1 in every room!!!

God Is So Faithful!

2006-08-02T01:06:00.000-05:00

So, where to begin...
Last night (Monday) during my prayer time I asked the Lord to please let my time of waiting for the referral end (my normal prayer since hitting the 2 month mark of waiting). I asked Him to please intercede on my belhaf to God. I have tried to be faithfully patient (though I am not always great at this), and be open to learn through this wait time.

I woke up today (Tuesday) not feeling like this day would be any different from any other day during this wait time. I went to work and just got settled into my new office (not teaching anymore - but rather a curriculum coordinator). A friend came in and we started talking. A few minutes later my cell phone rang - I didn't recognize the number and almost didn't answer it (I figured it was a wrong number), but decided to anyway. This is how the conversation went...
me: Hello
B: Hi Stacey, this is B~ from FHSA
me: Oh my goodness, oh my goodness
B: Are you driving right now?
me: No - oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness. Do you have news for me???
B: Sure do!! Log onto your e-mail
me: (hysterically crying) I am at work here is my e-mail address - oh crap! Now I can't remember it!!!!! Hold on let me calm down and think...oh yes - here it is!!
Oh no my computer is on the fritz - send it to my friend's e-mail - wait is that legal?? oh my goodness, oh my goodness!!!!!!
B: Calm down (laughing)! It is fine - give me her e-mail address
me: OK here it is... Oh crap - her computer is unplugged (she just moved into a new classroom)!! Let me give you my boss' e-mail address. While we are waiting can you please tell me what is on the e-mail. At this point we may never see it!!!!! Oh my goodness, oh my goodness (hysterically crying)!
B: You have a SON!!!!! He was born November 28, 2005. He is adorable!! The orphanage wants you to know that he is the favorite and spoiled rotten. They took the picture of him right as he was falling asleep - so his eyes are almost closed. He is layed out in his crib.
me: Holy CRAP! We have a son (hysterically crying)! What do I do (as if I had lost total ability to think)?
B: (laughing) Open the e-mail and call your husband!! This is the day you have waited for for so long - Enjoy it!!!
me: Oh my goodness, Oh my goodness, Oh my goodness!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!! I will! Oh by the way, sorry for stalking you the last month and a half with daily e-mails about how long and torturous the waiting is!!!
B: No problem!! Enjoy looking at your SON!!!

So, I FINALLY was able to open the e-mail and see him! She was right - he is adorable (of course I am not biased)!! He has lots of hair that sticks straight up and he has huge cheeks!!!

My friend is currently working on a website for him - as soon as it is up I will post the web address so you all can see him. I was going to wait to post this until I could show his picture - but I couldn't wait!!!!!! We hope we will get more pictures of him before we travel! I will post them on the website when I get them!

Oh (how could I forget this), his name is Brenden Douglas. Brenden - after my husband's uncle and Douglas - after my dad.

Thank you Lord for your unfailing love and perfect timing!!!!!!!!

Nothing New

2006-07-28T09:53:00.000-05:00

Another week with no adoption news! It is becoming the story of my life!!! The good news is that this is the first week I have not felt down about it - that is progress.

One good bit of information - I received and e-mail from a person who found our name on the FCVN website. This person is using my agency and is waiting just like we are. I got some encouraging updates through the e-mail and it is helping me to look at things in a different light. It is so nice to know someone who is using the same agency and who is in the same stage we are. Who knows ~ maybe we will travel to get our children together! This e-mail is an answer to a prayer that I have praying for a long time. I have felt so alone in this and have not been able to get any type of answers from the Lord during my quiet times. The night before I got the e-mail I was asking my friend to pray for me because I felt like God wasn't listening anymore (as crazy as that sounds). The next morning I received the e-mail. God's timing is perfect!

We have no big plans for the weekend! The baby's room is pretty much put together - we are still waiting for the double dresser. I told my husband that I would like to go to the beach and spend some time together. Even though we live at the beach, it still feels like we are on vacation when we spend the day there !

To those of us still waiting referral or travel - maybe August will be "the month" for us. Personally, I am praying the referral will come before my 33rd birthday - August 14th.

Have a great weekend!!!!

Update

2006-07-20T15:02:00.000-05:00

I finally heard from our agency today regarding the e-mail I sent them on Tuesday. I asked them if they had talked to the VN facilitator about our referral (or lack there of). They told me that they speak the with facilitator on a regular basis and she is certain that our referral will be here SOON. There is that word again - soon. I have heard that since the beginning of July. I wish they would say what they mean by using the word soon. I am a teacher - so I think about how I use that word to passify my students when they get impatient. It makes me wonder if that is what they are doing to me! I guess the good news is I know for sure they are talking with the facilitator in VN about our adoption. It does make me feel better when I hear from the agency. I have started e-mailing them once a week for an update. I am sure they are trying to get my referral as fast as they can so that I will leave them alone!!

So - I continue to wait and wonder how long "soon" can take! I pray that we hear something. We are at the end of another week - so I am not expecting the phone to ring "soon".

Great Visit!

2006-07-19T09:26:00.000-05:00

Well, I just dropped my parents off at the airport (boo hoo). We had a great visit! We spent most of our days lounging at the beach. The weather was beautiful!!! It was the type of days that you could spend all day at the beach and not get hot!!

While my parents were here we put up the crib and the bookshelf. The baby's room is starting to look great!! Our double dresser is supposed to be here today. My baby shower was this past Saturday and it went great! I got lots of nice gifts. I will post pictures soon! My mom and I had so much fun coming home and putting away all the gifts! I still need so much more though!! I guess it is a good thing I am having another shower with my friends from Atlanta.

Unfortunately, I still have not heard anything about our referral!! I e-mailed our agency yesterday for an update - but I haven't heard anything yet. I hope they have something new to tell me - though I am not counting on it. I guess we still have a couple of more days before the weekend - there is always hope that it will come!

Well, I am going to start cleaning my house - it is a disaster after having company! Until next time...

it's official - 3 months today

2006-07-11T13:20:00.000-05:00

My agency has had our dossier 3 months today. My wait time was supposed to be 2 - 3 months ~ but 2 months was the projected time frame! I mean really - what is the hold up??? We have been next in line for a referral for almost 2 months now!!! I e-mailed our agency yesterday and asked them if they still were under the impression that we would get the referral before my baby shower (Sat.). I am getting the same answer that Christina from Mrs. Broccoli Guy is getting - soon!! This is so frustrating! Before they were saying that they felt confident that we would get the referral before the shower - now it has changed to "soon, hopefully". What in the world is that supposed to mean! The good news (if you can call it that) is that now I am not expecting the phone to ring with referral news anytime soon.

My parents are coming today for a visit. They will be here for the rest of the week. We have big plans of hanging out at the beach and doing nothing - sounds great doesn't it!! Hopefully they will help take my mind off the waiting. How cool would it be if we got the referral while they were here! That would be awesome (though my hopes are not up)! We also will be putting the crib and bookshelf together for the baby's room. My husband and I painted the room this weekend. I was hoping it would be a nice, soft shade of yellow. However, it dried darker that in went on - so it is a little brighter than I hoped. Hopefully when we get the furniture in the room it will help calm it down.

Well, with my parents here, I won't have time to write for a while. So I hope everyone has a great rest of the week. I will post if we do happen to get the referral!!

No, Nothing, Notta

2006-07-07T15:04:00.000-05:00

Well, here we are at the end of the week that I was supposed to get my referral according to my agency...Guess what? No referral!!!!!!! I just can't imagine what is taking so long!! It is not that I am sad anymore - I have moved passed that to being mad!! I am ready to call up to the agency and cause a fuss. However, I also know that your get more with honey than lemons. So - I will keep my mouth shut for a little longer.

I am feeling the pressure also because my baby shower is next Saturday. People have been asking what the sex and age are so that they can buy the baby some clothes. I have registered for all gender neutral things - so there are plenty of items for them to get (177 to be exact). I am hoping that I will here something this coming up week. if I don't here anything by then - I will come unglued and have to cause a fuss.

On a good note - my parents are coming in town this Tuesday!! They are bringing with them a bookshelf they bought at IKEA for the baby - we don't have an IKEA here or anywhere in Florida for that matter!! By the time they come - we should have the room painted and the crib put together. I am hoping that the double dresser will be in next week. Since my parents don't live here, this will be our only opportunity to involve them in setting up the room. I know they are looking forward to it - and I am too. I wil post pictures once I get the room set up. I haven't been able to order the bedding or the pictures for the room because they are gender specific. I am doing "frogs" as a theme for boy or girl. I am using the Kelly Rightsell frogs, she has boy and girl frog prints and rugs. If you haven't checked out her website you should, it is - www.kellyrightsell.com she has adorable things!

Well I hope everyone has a great weekend! I personally hope it flies past quickly so that we can get ready for a new week of referrals - hopefully.

PS - I wanted to share a verse that the Lord revealed to me last night during my quiet time. I was consumed with thoughts about the adoption and the timeline the agency gave me - and then I read this: "Don't put your confidence in powerful people; there is no hope for you there." Psalm 146:3 "But joyful are those whose hope is in the Lord their God." Psalm 146:5
Ouch - that one hit me right between the eyes! I am still trying to digest it!

Cautiously Optomistic

2006-07-03T22:58:00.000-05:00

I finally heard from our agency today about the e-mail I sent last week. Recap - I asked if they thought there was a reason to be concerned because it is taking longer than expected to get a referral. In the last e-mail (2 weeks ago) we were told that we were next in line for a referral and had been for a few weeks at that point. So - you can understand my concern. I also asked if they still thought I would have my referral by the date of my baby shower (July 15). Well, today I got my answer. In a nutshell, they told me that there was no reason to be concerned about the wait. They also said that they thought I would for sure have the referral by the time of my shower - in fact (and this is the best part)they are expecting it any day!!!!! I almost fell out of my chair when I read the e-mail! I ran to tell my husband who just smiled (I am the emotional one - he is more subdued). This is the first time that our agency has ever been so forthright with information. They usually choose their words carefully as not to be locked in to a specific time-frame. It makes me think that maybe they have been in touch with the facilitator in VN (just guessing here).

Of course, little thoughts started to creep into my mind; "I've heard that before", "here we go again with the anticipation", "Once bitten twice shy". So, I will say that I am cautiously optomistic! I pray that I will here about my referral this week - but more than anything - I pray that the rest of this process will go smoothly and quickly!

Good thing we finally started on the baby's room!!! Hopefully we will find out the sex of the baby soon so that the crib doesn't sit for too long without bedding on it! I just can't wait to get it all together!!!!!!!

Hooray for July

2006-07-02T13:12:00.000-05:00

Finally July has arrived!!! I know that everyone else awaiting a referral or travel approval is just as glad as I am that June is over and July has begun! I must say that it has started with a bang around my house. My husband and I decided that we would start the baby's room in July with or without a referral (of course who would have thought we wouldn't have one yet). So that is exactly what we did!

We started off the morning by going to pick-up our crib (it had been in for a month - but we hadn't gotten it yet). The crib is now in the garage, we won't put it together until we paint the baby's room. Then we came home and re-arranged our guest room so that our computer would fit in it. Now my husband will have to share his office with our guest room. He seems to by fine with it (thank you Lord for that!). That took up most of the day because we had to move some things out of the guest room into our living room. So, mainly we took things apart and then set them back up again in another part of our house. At 10:00 last night we called it quits and decided to go to bed!

This morning we got up and went to church, went out to lunch, and now we are getting ready to start on the room again! Our goal it to clean out this weekend and paint next weekend. We decided to paint the room a pale yellow even if it is a boy. My parents are coming next Wednesday - so they will help us put up the crib and bookshelf. The double dresser should be in sometime next week - so they will be able to see that too! It helps to get everything ready - at least I feel I am being pro-active!

My shower invitations went out at the end of last week - so everyone at church today kept asking if we found out the sex of our child. It didn't bother me to keep answering "Not yet". I am feeling confident that our wait shouldn't be that much longer to get the referral. I did e-mail our agency to find out what the hold up is; but I haven't heard back from them yet. I am hoping I will here something on Monday. We have been next in line to receive a referral for a few weeks now - it seems weird that we haven't gotten one yet! Maybe I will have some answers soon!

I hope everone has a great 4th with their family and friends! I am sure we will be busy cleaning out the baby's room, but honestly, I can't think of a better way to spend my time!!!

Better

2006-06-28T01:43:00.000-05:00

Well, I just wanted to say a giant thank you to those who sent me the encouraging comments. I look forward everday to reading what people have written!! I know that I don't know you all personally - but I feel like I kind-of do. All of you are such a great support!!! It helps to talk (or write, in our case) to people who are going through or have been through the same emotions I have. I appreciate all of the personal things you write in your blogs! It makes it easier to open up and share my feelings!! So - keep writing!!

My husband works with a lady who is also adopting. Her country of choice is China. She has been waiting for her referral for a little over a year (sure puts my measly 2 1/2 month wait in perspective)! Well, yesterday was her day - she finally recieved her referral!!! She brought in her picture today for my husband to see. He called me and told me she was beautiful and it is finally feeling real to him! He said that now since he has seen the picture - it is going to be harder to wait for ours. It was refreshing to hear him say that. For so long this process has seemed like a business transaction to him, but now that we are getting closer I can see him growing more excited daily!! Now he is working up to my excitment level - almost! I can't imagine the level of joy we will both feel once we get our referral!!

Speaking of referrals - nothing yet for us. I am, however, keeping myself extremely busy this week. It is making the time go faster. I am still praying for a referral this week, but if it doesn't happen I am trying to stay positive (thanks Kelly for your Positive Polly entry - it gave me the swift kick I needed).

Again, I want to thank everyone again for their kind words! It certainly helps to hear them!!!

BLAH!!!

2006-06-26T00:45:00.000-05:00

Today has been a hard day for me!! I have felt very "down in the dumps". I actually had a great weekend with my husband. We just did fun things this weekend. However, I feel as though something (actually someone) is missing. This is the first time that I have felt like a piece of our family was not here with us! The wait for our child is getting harder!!! I would like to be optomistic and say, "Well, at least it is one day closer to the referral" - but I just don't feel like it is. At this point, I am wondering if the phone is ever going to ring!!! I know that obviously it will - BUT WHEN???? It is getting harder to look people in the eye - because they are all waiting for "the news". I can't take it when they say, "Don't worry it will happen soon". How do they know!!!! I know I am ranting, but I have to get this out! I really don't know how much more of this I can take. I am praying that the Lord will give me the strength to overcome this feeling of crawling into bed and never getting out!

I pray that I will have good news to announce this week - even if it is just that I am feeling more positive about everything!

Happy Anniversary To Me!!!

2006-06-23T16:51:00.002-05:00

Well, I can't believe it but my wonderful husband and I have been married 5 years today! I just love our anniversary - I feel as though I have been floating on cloud 9 all day. He took me out for lunch today, then took me to the Apple store to buy me an accessory for my IPod. Tonight we are going to the Country Club for dinner. We were going to go out of town to celebrate - but we are trying to save up for the trip to VN.

I did something else exciting today - I started my registry!! I stayed in Babies-R-Us for 2 hours and did not even come close to walking the entire store. While I was in there, I happened to run into my friend and she helped me register. It was sooooo much fun!!! I can't wait to go back and finish. I am going to try to space it out so that I will have something to look forward to everyday. Hopefully by the time I finish our referral will be here! I am trying my hardest to keep up with the positive thinking, but if our referral doesn't get here soon I think I might scream!!!!!

Well, until next time...

Getting Out Of The House

2006-06-21T23:14:00.000-05:00

Well, tomorrow I am going on a day trip to visit a friend. It will be nice to leave the house. Now that I know we are next for a referral, I am afraid to go anywhere! I want to be here for "the call"! I did ,however, e-mail the person in charge of our dossier and gave her my cell number just in case she needed to give me any news. I highly doubt I will here from her - but better to be safe than sorry!

No News Today

2006-06-20T21:41:00.000-05:00

I have nothing to report about the adoption today. I was hoping to get a call - but not today. Now that I know we are next in line for a referral - I am obsessed with the phone!! Every time it rings my heart skips a beat! it's funny - anytime I call anyone they are just as anxious for news as I am. when they hear it is me on the other end I can hear them breathe in and hold their breath until I say "no news".

My friends who are throwing me a baby shower picked out my invitations today. They are very cute!!! I am getting very giddy about all of this! I am looking forward to celebrating with my friends and family! I have been on the internet all day looking at items to register for. Since we don't have any children yet, I am definitely taking someone who has children with me to register. Otherwise I will end up with lots of things I won't need. Hopefully I will start my registry this weekend!!!! I can't believe it!

Well - it's a little something!

2006-06-19T15:45:00.000-05:00

Today I received an e-mail from our agency stating that we were next to receive a referral!! This is good news! I e-mailed her back to ask if she thought I would have it by the time of my baby shower (July 16). She told me that she thought it would for sure be here by then. In fact, she thought that it would only be a short wait until we know the sex of our child!!! I feel as though I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. However, I am also trying to be guarded because I know that waiting for permission to travel will also be challenging!

So, I went to the baby store to start getting an idea for what to register for! It was so exciting! I must say that I caught myself giggling as I was looking around. It is still feels so bizzare for me to get excited about entering a baby store! I guess I will start my registry for the things that are gender neutral later on this week!!

It is going to be so nice to be able to move along with getting everything ready for our baby. We have been stuck not knowing how to decorate the room for long enough. I am ready to paint and get the crib put together so I can finally nest!!!

Thank you Lord for this wonderful news!!! Your timing is perfect!

AHA!

2006-06-15T02:20:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had one of those moments that just make you say "AHA"? Well I had one just a few minutes ago!

You see, my friends who are throwing me a baby shower on July 15th are in the process of trying to get the invitations. They called me today to find out if they should just get generic invitations or gender specific ones. I have been sooo stressed out today for many reasons (waiting for the referral, trying to stick to my diet when I am depressed, etc) and this just added to it. I thought for sure that I would have the referral by now and would be able to tell them the sex of the baby. But, as I am quickly learning, adoption doesn't work that way! Then, thoughts started to go through my head such as, "what if I don't have the referral in time for the shower, what if I am not able to register for everything I need since I don't know the sex of the child or the age, etc."

So, tonight as I was laying in bed unable to sleep, I realized that I have taken control over this adoption and all the unknowns. I did not even think about God or His plans. I know His timing is perfect, but sometimes I feel that I just need to help Him with things. He knows exactly when this referral will come. He knows about the shower and the time frame (my mom is flying in for the shower and has already booked her ticket). Why do I need to carry this load when He already knows?

When I look back at the steps of our adoption, from the beginning until this point, I see his hand all over it. He lead us to the perfect agency for us and has placed people from the agency in our lives that fit with us perfectly. We haven't had any snafoos with the paperwork or the process up to this point. He has been in control of this adoption since the beginning - why would I think that I had to take control at this point?

It is so great to be able to give Him the burden and be filled with the peace that comes from giving it to Him. I trust that He is going to work it out for His glory. AHA!!!

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about what happens to you.
1 Peter 5:7

No - nothing yet

2006-06-13T18:04:00.000-05:00

Well, we have not received any news about our referral yet. The agency has had our dossier for 8 weeks today. I am expecting the referral any day. The agency told us that the time frame for a referral was 2 - 3 months. However, they told us that since we entered the program early - they estimated our wait at 2 months. So - you can see why I am on pins and needles waiting for "the call". I can't wait to move ahead with our plans for the room. This constant state of waiting is mentally exhausting! My friends who have had biological children say that they understand what I am going through - they say it's like waiting to go into labor. While I appreciate them trying to empathize, I am not sure it is the same. Once we get the referral, I will not be able to hold or kiss my son or daughter. I will have to wait months before that will be possible.

Well, maybe tomorrow I will have some news. I just need to keep the faith and remember that God's timing is PERFECT!

One day closer - hopefully

2006-06-10T22:08:00.000-05:00

Well, today we went to a church-wide fellowship to have "dinner on the grounds". It was fun - except for the endless questions about when we are going to get our referral. I know that it is my fault for telling people about the adoption before the referral. My husband did not want to tell anyone until we got a referral for this very reason. I know people are interested - but it is hard to talk about it constantly.

The good news is that tomorrow is Sunday. It is one day closer to starting a new week - and maybe hearing the good news of a referral!! I am praying that it comes this week! I know we said that we will take either gender, but I am secretly hoping for a girl! However, if we get a boy - I in no way will be dissapointed!!

Waiting for our referral

2006-06-09T22:41:00.000-05:00

Hi! I am new to this whole "blogspot" thing - so bear with me!

My husband and I are in the process of adopting our first child. We prayed about where to adopt from and felt like the Lord led us to Vietnam. The so-called "short wait times" were a plus for us!!

We started this journey in late October of 2005 with our first homestudy visit. Once our visit was over we were overwhelmed with how much we had to do!! But, how do you eat an elephant? - one bite at a time. So that is what we did! We completed ALL of the paperwork, certification, and authentication by April 2006. We sent our paperwork into our agency on
April 14, which happened to be Good Friday (which it was!!).

We have yet to get a referral - but our agency told us it would be 2 - 3 months before we heard anything. The great news is that the 5 families that turned in paperwork before us all have their referrals - they only had to wait 2 months!!

We know that God is in control of this adoption and His timing is perfect. However, the waiting has been the hardest part of all!! It has helped me so much to look other sites and to see that I am not the only one having these same feelings! One person said that the refferal was the first thing she thought about in the morning and the last thing she thought about at night - I couldn't have said it better myself!

We expect the call to come any day! I can't wait to register and set the room up! With everything we have gone through to get to this point - it is a HUGE blessing to be able to have the opportunity to experience the joy of preparing for "parenthood"!